The wise old man’s speech was
interrupted by Kuku’s arrival with breakfast for us. She laid down a bowl of
steaming tomato soup, on the table, for the old man and scrambled eggs, bread and
sauce for me. I thanked Kuku and the old man gave her a smile and a nod as a
sign of thank you. Everything smelled so good and tasted even better. After some
moments of pigging out in silence, I turned to look at the old man. He was
sitting starring at me and hasn’t touched his food.
“What’s wrong Baba? Aren’t you
gonna eat that?” I asked curiously.
“You have a good appetite!” he
said with a smile on his face. “I used to be like you. But now I am old, my
teeth are gone and I have poor appetite. Enjoy these things while you can,
Giovane. They may seem trivial but sometimes we don’t know the value of
something until we lose it.” I nodded my head in agreement taking a sip of my
hot steaming green tea feeling a bit embarrassed about my pig out session.
“Giovane,” said the old man. I
looked up from my cup of tea and replied “Yes Baba!”
“Have you ever been in love?”
I gave out a deep sigh and
answered “Yes, I have been in love, more than once actually!”
“So, what happened?” asked the
old man seeing the frustration on my face.
“Well, it didn’t work out! Sometimes
I feel like giving up on love Baba!”
“Giovane, don’t shut your heart
to love in the fear of getting hurt or of loving and not getting your love
returned. A heart without love is like a body with a dead soul. Open the door of
your heart and let love flow in and out. Of course, at times you might get
hurt. You might get betrayed or disappointed. Your love might be unrequited or
can be taken for granted. But ultimately what matters the most is that you
loved. Give love without the expectation of receiving it back, you will be
surprised how abundantly you will get it.”
He continued, “Another thing you should
know is that, Love is more of a verb than a noun. It’s in the actions than the
words. Anyone can promise you the world they can make you believe they care
with sugarcoated words but at the end of the day if they don’t show it in their
deeds, it is meaningless. Stop deceiving yourself. Love is black and white, it
is not a gray area that you have to try and figure out. if someone loves you
they will show it. Period! And you will know it, it’s not that complicated.”
“Giovane, don’t go chasing after
people who don’t know your worth. If you find yourself constantly trying to
prove your value to someone then it’s time to let them go. You are worth so
much better than that. What’s meant to be yours can’t be taken away from you. Even
if you let it go it will come back to you. But if someone or something is not
meant to be yours no matter how much you try you can never make that person or
thing stay.”
The old man took a slurp of his
soup and turned his look towards the beautiful garden. Silence fell for a
while. I can tell something was bothering him.
“What is it, Baba? Talk to me.” I
said in a worried voice.
He quickly replied, “Nothing
Giovane!” clearing his throat he continued “When you finally decide to marry,
choose the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with carefully. Marriage
is a commitment of a lifetime. It’s not to be taken lightly. It’s for better or
for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer. Don’t go for a
person’s look only, as it will eventually fade away and after a while you will
be left with the person’s character and soul. There is this saying ‘Don’t marry
someone who is beautiful to the world, marry someone who makes your world
beautiful.’ I had been blessed in this regard. My wife was a beautiful woman
inside and out … a rare gem … a wonderful person! She made my life exquisite. And
though she is gone she still lives in my heart.”
I could sense the sadness in his
tone.
“I am so sorry Baba! I can only
imagine how hard it must be for you!” I replied trying to hide the tears in my
eyes.
“Oh it’s okay, Giovane. I have
learned throughout the years to not cry again and again about the loved ones who
have passed and let my soul be consumed with bitterness! It is true that we
might miss them and wish that they were here with us at times. But they are in
a better place where are no worries, fears, sadness, misery, insecurity, or
bitterness. And no matter how much we cry or wish, we can never be able to undo
what happened or to bring them back. We are going to them sooner or later but
they are not coming back to us. Hence, it’s our choice to either make peace
with it & move on or to lose our mind in agony. We can keep them in our
hearts and cherish the good memories we had with them in our minds. If so they
will live though us in our hearts and minds. But we have to move past the
sorrow and anger eventually. Because…. Life goes on...” I slowly reached out to
the old man’s hands and held them in mine. Only a person who has lost a loved
one knows how difficult it can be.
Thank you for reading!
Lidia
To read Conversations with the
Wise Old Man Part One, click on the following link:
